BLOGGING CONNECTING REVEALING

Blogging by nature is solitary.  We face our computers and type what we feel and the many observations and experiences we have.  After a few tweaks, edits and adjustments we post it for the world to see.  And then we hope that in the blogosphere out there, someone would pick and read our blog and relate to us.  I think that’s what we all hope for – to somehow make a connection with someone with what we write.  After all, we are what we write. And if we’re a great writer or expressionist and do make a lot of sense with what we write, we attract a loyal following.  Eventually we become a cult, that can be good or bad depending on the contents of what you’re writing.

I’m quite new in this blogging world.  But I’ve seen enough to know that things are pretty much the same.  I’ve done my share of blog hopping and there are some things I have noticed.

It really doesn’t matter what you blog, you want to connect to people. I don’t think it make sense that we blog and we don’t want people to read what we’ve posted.  Reading through the blogs I hopped reveals this very well.  It doesn’t matter if their blog (or their whole web) is trying to be cute, trying to be non-conformist, trying to be different, trying to be rebellious, trying to be smart, or trying to be extraordinary.  The bottom line remains the same – we want to connect with people.  They are looking for people they can relate to.  We hope for someone to just relate to us.  And it really doesn’t matter if you have hidden agendas like you want back links or you want them to click your Google Ad sense.  The desire is still obvious – we hunger for connection.

I guess for some bloggers out there, comments are the most important thing for them.  This is the measurement of their worth and identity.  It makes them happy knowing that people are reading what they have posted and they have connected on some level.   Comments on blog posts somehow gives us a sense of humanity (we exists after all) and pride or satisfaction  (i think they like what i write) that someone has connected to them.  It’s like a beep in their cell phones.

I think it’s quite ironic that the blogger would not desire any comments with what he posts.  I guess for some writing controversial issues and other weird stuff is the best way to be noticed and get comments.  It’s very ironic that a blogger would comment on himself.  So sad!  It reminds me of a person who has two cellphones because he has no textmates so he texts himself with his other cellphone.  We blog because we want connection.

Technology has just made communication faster for us, but never eliminated the hunger to connect with people.  Technology has just given us a stage to express who we are, but it doesn’t mean we’re going up the stage nor should we expect there are people in the audience.  And this is what I noticed next.

Despite our desire to connect with people, we are so scared to reveal who we are. Many hide in different names and aliases.  They want us to wonder if they are male or female, if they are single or married, and who they really are.  Somehow, they believe that adding the element of the unknown or mystery makes them interesting.  Interesting?  Maybe?  Liars?  Possibly!  Scared?  Most likely!  What’s to lose revealing who we are, our status, age, and our face?  Maybe we have been rejected several times when they found out who we really were.  Maybe  the pain of rejection is just too much to bear.  And the only way to protect ourselves from further pain is to not reveals ourselves. Go with a different name, use a bug’s name, post a photoshopped picture of someone, and just lie.

Eventually, if we ever get close to people as we lie, we end up losing those people anyway when the truth comes out.  People can be turned off  with what they see.  But most of the times, it’s because we have not been honest enough with who we really are.

We may have been hurt several times and we just don’t want to risk it anymore.  So we hide in some goofy names and make outlandish make believe stories and imagination just to ease the pain we have.  Problem is, the lie we live in gets bigger.  When people or bloggers appreciates you with what you write and they’d find out who you really, you can just be easily deleted.  This is very easy in our technology world.

Aliases and codenames may probably just a style.  I guess that’s the way it works.  It may work in the web or in the blogosphere, but not in the real world.  Honesty still works big time.

Lastly, it’s not about our individualities that we want others to know, but about adding value to people we connect with. There’s just too much expressions and opinions out there wanting people to see it our way.  What we desire is that people would understand us and see it our way.  That includes my blogs as well.

But have we ever thought if we can add value to the people who read our blogs.  Can they take something from us that they may find useful?  Or can we comment that can add value to the writer?  And in the process of blogging and commenting our eyes are opened to a whole new world out there bigger than the bubble we live in.  And because of this our perspective have changed to something better.  Our lives are being transformed for a better cause.

I know this can be hard, but we can all start with being honest.  If we blog for the sake of who we are without any desire to hear and learn from others, why blog at all.  Just blog privately and comment on yourself.  We’re not all experts so everyone should listen to us.  We blog because we want to learn from others and in the process learn about ourselves and change for the better.  I know there are bloggers out there who thinks they know it all and they do not need to listen to others.  And there are bloggers who thinks everyone should listen to them.  That’s very annoying.

But I have always felt and sense that blogging is an informal education to life.  We need to learn, listen, and be honest.  In the process of blogging and interacting with fellow bloggers we learn about ourselves and find meaning and purpose to life and change for the better.

Here’s to blog, life, value, honesty, love, connection.